So I’m levelling Stormsinger (my rogue) to train her as an enchant procurer.

It’s a fun enough job. Find target, stealth, assault, eviscerate… It’s like a mantra. Anyway, I’m doing the Arathi Highlands thing, whupping Raptors for their eyes, collecting heads from the Darbyrie Estate and snagging Syndicate emblems up at Northfold. Stealth, Assault, Evis… Rinse repeat. Corpses piling up so thick the whole horizon looks labelled in grey. Then there’s a big white tiger.

On me. Chewing happily. Skulls are its level and the arcane shot that slams me down to 13 health seems to indicate a Hunter with intentions on wiping out my pretty Blood Elf existence. No choice. Vanish, praying that a poison spike doesn’t give my stealth away by leaking as I run. Luck on my side.

Praise be the Rogue gods. I flick to combat log to catch the name of my wouldbe ganker and notice 4 names. I look around and realise that a 31 Hunter is getting escorted by a Skulls buddy. Both Night Elves. Yuk. Time to bug out and call it even… I’m watching on the combat log as they run around trying to find me - Track Humanoids, Track Hidden, Track Humanoids, Track Hidden… On off like a submarine sonar pinging for yours truely. Hunt for Red Eviscerator. But they haven’t found me… I’m Sean Connery and they’re a b-list English actor with a bad accent. The immediate danger has passed, I’m safe… And when a pretty young Blood Elf feels safe, her thoughts turn to pleasing herself with that most indulgent of vices - vengeance.

They lose interest in me. My interest in them is growing by the second. I notice they’re farming Syndicate cannon-fodder and they’re standing quite far apart. The 31 is confident as hell, pulling two at a time knowing that his Skulls buddy is there to save ass if required. But they started in the middle of a field and they’re working outwards… Getting further apart. Skulls gets locked down in dealing with 3 Syndicate goons, 31 is taking on 2. He’s going to win, but maybe he’ll only have 12 hit points left after the battle. I watch. If I had streamers and face-paint you would have thought I was a Syndicate Super-fan. I’m praying for every hit-point these thugs can whittle off the Night Elf. One goes down, the next is soon to follow…

Now or never. Vanish has finished cooldown so the ejector seat is gtg. Move quick. 31 finishes off the last Syndicate and Skulls is moving back to regroup. All I’m gonna have is one shot. Cold Blood on. That’s a guarenteed crit for you Rogue newbs… Moving in fast and low. 31 bends to loot the dead Syndicate -

Ambush! 630 damage. One shot and the fucker goes down. Right in front of Skulls the Bodyguard. L2play noobs. Hit Vanish before that big white tiger rips me in half and run like a bastard. Look back once -

Skulls is standing over the corpse of 31. I swear I can see the confused look on his face, but I know that’s madness. In my mind’s eye I picture a teenager whispering to his ‘Escort’ -


God I love this game.